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Charla Christy
1 thoughts on “Coaching Habit Chapter 2 and Chapter 3”
Judith Diane Farris says:
Coaching Habit Chapters 2 & 3
2 The AWE Question (In Which the Best Coaching Question is revealed and you marvel at the Power of three short words)
Cut the Intro, Ask the Question—made me laugh because it’s so true, at least for me—I need this input for real
The James Bond explosive intro of 10 seconds juxtaposed to Scheherazade’s Thousand and One Nights (Arabian Nights) is a great way to show this directive—just ask.
The AWE Question
~if you have a lead in question, try this: “Out of curiosity….” which he remarks lessons the heaviness. He says here’s your new habit when you have a question to ask: Instead of setting it up, framing it, explaining it, warming up to it and generally taking forever to get to the moment, I WILL, ask the question! (then shut-up and listen for the answer)
Like magic, the AWE question is, And what else? Michael state, “with seemingly no effort, it creates more—more wisdom, more insights, more self-awareness, more possibilities—out of thin air.
~the advice Haiku
Tell less and ask more
Your advice is not as good
As you think it is.
~this is not as easy, because we slip easily into the advice-giver/answer-it/solve-it/fix-it mode, or the “Advice Monster” he says, “ in short, even though we don’t really know what the issue is, or what’s going on for the person, we’re quite sure we’ve got the answer they need.”
~And What Else—buys you time to figure out what is going on with the person
~Stay Curious, Stay Genuine
~he asks this he says about 3 times and rarely over 5 times
~as you see the energy going you’ll know it’s time to move on—you could say, in wrapping it up, “is there anything else?”
~if you have an idea—-offer an idea, but not as a fake question such as “have you thought of…. or “what about….”
3 The Focus Question (In which you find out how to stop spending so much time and effort solving the wrong problem)
~Eureka, kind of—as historically people have tried to solve a problem, another solution to a whole different problem is discovered (lot of analogies page 81)
~you’re solving the wrong problem
~you’re solving the problem yourself
~remember that you have your own work to do—-do not think for others
The Focus Question
What’s the real challenge here for you? (Focus on the “real” problem not the first problem)
~the “for you” pins the challenge to the person you’re coaching; this will avoid misty foggy ambiguity
~if there are several challenges, ask something like this “If you had to pick one of these to focus on which one here, would be the real challenge?”
~he talks about ‘coaching a ghost’ where the person goes on and on about another person, so it’s more like gossiping, or he says, more bluntly like bitching and moaning.
~when asking “for you” the conversation usually goes toward developmental vs. performance; there’s often more personal insight which lends to growth and capability
~Trust that you’re being useful
~Remember there’s a place for your advice
~Remember the 2nd question
Coaching Habit Chapters 2 & 3
2 The AWE Question (In Which the Best Coaching Question is revealed and you marvel at the Power of three short words)
Cut the Intro, Ask the Question—made me laugh because it’s so true, at least for me—I need this input for real
The James Bond explosive intro of 10 seconds juxtaposed to Scheherazade’s Thousand and One Nights (Arabian Nights) is a great way to show this directive—just ask.
The AWE Question
~if you have a lead in question, try this: “Out of curiosity….” which he remarks lessons the heaviness. He says here’s your new habit when you have a question to ask: Instead of setting it up, framing it, explaining it, warming up to it and generally taking forever to get to the moment, I WILL, ask the question! (then shut-up and listen for the answer)
Like magic, the AWE question is, And what else? Michael state, “with seemingly no effort, it creates more—more wisdom, more insights, more self-awareness, more possibilities—out of thin air.
~the advice Haiku
Tell less and ask more
Your advice is not as good
As you think it is.
~this is not as easy, because we slip easily into the advice-giver/answer-it/solve-it/fix-it mode, or the “Advice Monster” he says, “ in short, even though we don’t really know what the issue is, or what’s going on for the person, we’re quite sure we’ve got the answer they need.”
~And What Else—buys you time to figure out what is going on with the person
~Stay Curious, Stay Genuine
~he asks this he says about 3 times and rarely over 5 times
~as you see the energy going you’ll know it’s time to move on—you could say, in wrapping it up, “is there anything else?”
~if you have an idea—-offer an idea, but not as a fake question such as “have you thought of…. or “what about….”
3 The Focus Question (In which you find out how to stop spending so much time and effort solving the wrong problem)
~Eureka, kind of—as historically people have tried to solve a problem, another solution to a whole different problem is discovered (lot of analogies page 81)
~you’re solving the wrong problem
~you’re solving the problem yourself
~remember that you have your own work to do—-do not think for others
The Focus Question
What’s the real challenge here for you? (Focus on the “real” problem not the first problem)
~the “for you” pins the challenge to the person you’re coaching; this will avoid misty foggy ambiguity
~if there are several challenges, ask something like this “If you had to pick one of these to focus on which one here, would be the real challenge?”
~he talks about ‘coaching a ghost’ where the person goes on and on about another person, so it’s more like gossiping, or he says, more bluntly like bitching and moaning.
~when asking “for you” the conversation usually goes toward developmental vs. performance; there’s often more personal insight which lends to growth and capability
~Trust that you’re being useful
~Remember there’s a place for your advice
~Remember the 2nd question